What a year 2010 was! With the beginning came not resolution on my part, but a still, small voice telling me things were going to change, to grow, and, as I waited on the Lord, I would find the truth of who I was, who I was to become. I felt it impressed on me that I was to stay home and to create and settle into a warm and secure refuge. In essence, it was to be a year of nesting. I didn’t see this as heavy, frightening, or even exciting at the time, but simply a peaceful comfort to my stressed and tired mind.
I had spent the last three years searching for God’s call on my life. This quest found me at the end of 2009 with my fingers in many proverbial pots and I was feeling the pressure and becoming exhausted. So I contentedly accepted the reprieve and asked God to grant me the grace and wisdom to understand and accomplish what He had for me to do.
The year’s adventures began at the end of January clothed in pain and trauma, yet adorned with hope and possibilities. We never got to know about our baby before the miscarriage. As my body healed, my heart gave the sacrifice of praise. I began creating and settling into a warm and secure refuge by presenting my praise in writing. Soon, as He said, God began to show me a large part of who I was to become, and I was offered a stay-at-home writing job that was quickly turned into a promising career.
Watching and recognizing God’s provision in His plan for things to change and grow in my life gave even greater motivation to “nest” our home, our refuge, for what may still come. A sense of great purpose filled my soul.
The year progressed with a flurry of activities and work. Never one to miss the fun, busyness, and party that is life, I participated happily and fully. Then came an unexpected and surprising opportunity to adopt an unborn child. Was this the purpose I was to fulfill? Was this how God was to show me who I was to become? My husband and I searched out the possibility while staying in prayer, but this baby was not to be ours. I went back to the flurry of activities, but the year was finding its way fast into a beautiful Colorado fall. My job was multiplying and life was rolling on fast and furiously.
And then, on October 27th, I understood 2010’s complete picture. Two pink lines provided the answer to why I was to stay home, why I was to nest our home, why I was to create and settle into a warm and secure refuge, and who I was to become.
I am excited, I am blessed. As I look forward to everything that 2011 holds, I am preparing not only my home, but my heart. Raising and molding a child is an awesome and heavy responsibility, one that I know I can only handle through God’s grace and strength. And so, I am nesting…nesting my home, nesting my heart, creating and settling into my warm and secure refuge of God’s grace and strength.